I was at home with my wife and two kids in 2018. Our second child was 12 days old when my wife had a late postpartum hemorrhage.
As I drove her to the hospital she lost two liters of blood and went unconscious. I was certain I was going to lose her. I had to call 911 to have an ambulance come meet us. She was taken away leaving me alone with the newborn infant. In that moment my achievements and career as a doctor seemed meaningless. I only wished for her survival.
My job as a pediatric cardiac anesthesiologist is to keep people alive during extreme situations. But in this moment I couldn't do anything. I was helpless.
Two weeks later my son needed emergency surgery and I went through the panic all over again. My world was rocked.
I spent nights holding and feeding my son trying to let my wife rest. During these late nights alone with my son, I needed to stay awake to rock him. I didn't want to watch movies. I needed something that fed this new feeling of extreme gratitude.
I decided to binge watch TED talks. These are unique and uplifting videos.
My TED talk binge helped create a new me. I started meditating. I wrestled with work life balance and tried to understand why my career as a doctor was not as expected.
I started speaking about burnout and giving lectures to college students. Young people seemed to enjoy my stories, especially about medical school and my travels.
I've never practiced medicine the same ever since. And I fiercely protect my time with my family.
When the pandemic hit we lost our community. I kept working but life at home was not good. For our marriage and family, my wife and I made a tough choice.
In January of 2021 we sold our home and moved into a trailer and hit the road. What followed was a wild drive across America. I've decided to write a book about it.
Now I work part time and teach a college class. I found happiness in making videos and writing.
I've always had a strong intrinsic urge to tell a story. Editing videos or crafting prose allows me to channel my creative energy while providing a framework for processing my innermost thoughts and emotions.
I'm publishing my writing online with the hope that it will help other budding artists develop their voices.
In addition to being a creative outlet, this site is the foundation for my book that chonicles this journey. I hope that it's useful and inspirational for yours.